Dec 12, 2010; Arlington, TX USA; Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Jay Ratliff (90) celebrates after sacking Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick (7) in the third quarter at Cowboys Stadium. Philadelphia won 30-27. Mandatory Credit: Matt Strasen-US PRESSWIRE

Dallas Cowboy Victory in the Super Bowl Will Change the World.

The Dallas Cowboys will win the 2012 Super Bowl, but the interesting part is what will happen afterwards:

- The Dalai Lama will start using the 2012 Dallas Cowboys as an example when he explains the concept of perfection in nirvana.

– Tony Romo will win a Nobel Prize in the field of Quarterbacking Awesomeness.

– DeMarco Murray will be awarded the Booker Prize for his autobiography “The DMM Express: Running Over Defenders in the NFL.”

– President Obama will start to consult with Jason Garrett on all major decisions.

– Thousands of gingers will gain the courage to stop dying their hair.

– Millions of Koreans will claim to be related to Sean Lee.

– Rob Ryan will make Maxim’s “100 Sexiest People”.

– DeMarcus Ware and Jay Ratliff will face off against 10 of the world’s highest ranked MMA and UFC fighters at the same time in a no-rules cage match. 3 of the fighters, one having recently evacuated his bowels, refuse to participate after seeing and hearing Jay Ratliff roar like a wild beast. The other 7 get defeated in a contest that never seemed fair.

– “Witten” will become the slang term for anything that exemplifies excellence, as in: “Dude, did you see that dunk? It was so Witten” or, “This new album is Witten” or, “I just Wittened the $%#& out of that exam” or, “She totally digs me…..Witten!”

– Dallas Mall Cops will start asking “Dez Bryant, sir, are you sure your pants aren’t chafing you?  Feel free to loosen them.”

– Miles Austin will team up with William Kamkwamba to build 1000’s of windmills in Africa that all have blue and silver stars at the end of every blade. The Cowboy Nation grows.

And shockingly, after the Super Bowl, Steeler fans will whine about an NFL conspiracy and blame the officials.

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Tags: Confessions Of A Dallas Cowboy Junkie Dallas Cowboys

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