Jan 28, 1996; Tempe,AZ, USA; Dallas Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith (22) in action against the Pittsburgh Steelers during Super Bowl XXX at the Sun Devil Stadium. Dallas defeated Pittsburgh 27-17. Mandatory Credit: Photo By Matthew Emmons-US PRESSWIRE

Life as a Rabid Dallas Cowboys Fan

I love the Dallas Cowboys.  I have loved them for as long as I can remember, and I will love them until I die.  Some people have suggested that my devotion to the Cowboys goes beyond religious zealousness and into irrational and unhealthy obsession. I think it’s good to love something intensely and not need to give a rational explanation why you care about it so much.  Anyway, here is a random collection of some of the things that my ‘obession’ with the Dallas Cowboys has caused me to do.

- When I put something in the microwave, I never set the timer for a round number of seconds. If it needs 30 seconds, it gets 33 (Tony Dorsett), if it needs 20 seconds, it gets 22 (Emmitt Smith), if it needs a minute and a half, it gets 88 seconds (Michael Irvin), if something needs 1 minute, I will Sean Lee it and then Romo it (50 an 9 seconds respectively).

- When the woman who eventually became my wife moved in with me, I made it a point to get a prior agreement that there would be no Christmas Tree in my house. My problems with the holiday and the way it is celebrated are not the point. In mid-December, our third year living together, I came home late one night after being out with the boys and was horrified to see what appeared to be the silhouette of a Christmas tree in my living room. I was furious! I momentarily lamented the fact that I did not own a flamethrower and then stormed to the bedroom ready to unleash a barrage of indignant ultimatums. She was awake and waiting.

After I ranted for few minutes, she calmly got up, went into the living room and said, “I don’t know what you are talking about. There is no Christmas tree in this house.” I flew to the light-switch as I accusingly demanded, “What the hell is that then?” When the light came on, I saw a tree with dark blue and silver garland wrapped around it, a few dark blue and silver glass balls, and a bunch of silver stars. She smugly informed me: “This is not a Christmas tree. It’s a “Good-luck for the Dallas Cowboys Playoffs tree.” We have the same tree every year, even when the Cowboys don’t make the playoffs; it stays up as long as there are more games.  And yes, I finally agreed to presents being placed under it.

- I used to travel a lot for work. When I had to visit other NFL cities, I always took 10 or 15 Dallas Cowboy bumper stickers with me. I would skulk around parking lots and affix them to cars. One word of advice: men who drive big pick-ups are likely to resort to violence if they think you are ‘effing around’ with their trucks. In Pittsburgh they go berserk!

I also tried to leave a few on the vehicles used by the public transportation. There is nothing as enjoyable as watching the horror, disgust, anger, and bewilderment of dozens of onlookers when they see a Dallas Cowboys emblem on one of their public buses or subways. (By far the most amusing place I did this was Buffalo during Super Bowl week the second time the Cowboys beat the Bills.)

- For several years, I worked abroad. The only way to watch a Cowboys game when you are on another continent is to stream it live; this is often in the middle of the night or Monday morning local time. I have canceled work on Mondays because of a game far more times than my employer could be expected to understand or tolerate.  It is a risk I will take again when need be.

- When Emmitt Smith broke Walter Payton’s All-Time rushing record and then went and found Daryl Johnston on the sideline, I cried.

- When Tony Romo botched the snap on the field-goal against Seattle in the playoffs, I kicked the coffee table so hard that I broke bones in my toes.

- For years when I was a kid, I would use my own money to buy the newspaper every Monday. When I could afford it, I bought more than one. I would cut out any story, stat, or picture relating to Tony Dorsett and put it in a scrap-book. The few times he made the cover of Sports Illustrated were major events in my life (the one when he was on the cover as a Denver Bronco still haunts me: I couldn’t accept that Tony’s career was really over).

- In week 10 of the 2010 season, I was lucky enough to see the Cowboys play the Giants in the New Meadowlands Stadium. The Cowboys won 33-20 to improve their record to 2-7. All I could think about during the game was how Eli Manning had autographed a Dallas Cowboy Stadium wall the year earlier during the inaugural game in Dallas. I left the stadium happy that the Cowboys had beaten the Giants in the their own building and content in the fact that I had desecrated their ‘house’ far worse than Eli’s now rather innocent and uncreative looking signature.

If you have done something unusual in your support of the Dallas Cowboys, tell me about it by email and I may include your anecdote in my next article.  [email protected]


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Tags: Confessions Of A Dallas Cowboy Junkie Dallas Cowboys

  • Dallas3026

    Good work grasshopper!

  • CowgirlCas22

    I think every Cowboys  fan that goes to a game in NY needs to autograph a wall with the names of their favorite players!

    • Erasmus

       @CowgirlCas22 The desecration I engaged in was far more insulting, disrespectful and downright malicious than signing a wall, but I would still encourage Cowboy fans to stay within the realm of non-criminal acts like autographing a wall.

  • Californy

    Those sound like memories I want all fans to relived, the glory years.  many people have forgotten what they really mean.  in order to be the best everything should start at thee top, and radiate to all those people in the organization.  There is way too much press coverage on the boys it sicken me.  This team should put all of their energy into getting the righ player, having a unique system to develope the player we signed, and a desire to work harder, practice harder, become the most physical team in the NFL again.  The Cowboy organization as we know it today is a side show for the media.  I say shut down all blogs, close all practices, and work on the conditioning and improvement of all player in this organization.  JJ wants to hire manager to run this team.  What this team need is a coach who will hold all those accountable.  Jimmy Johnson fired someone for fumbling a ball once.  There is no greater acountability than that.  This is part of the boys problem today.   This team is full of people who make excuse or our pamper, that they lose the chance of the mental tuffness and physical toughness that they need to be.  Claiborne and Wilber both have hand injuries.  So what, tape it up and get out there if you value your job.  When do you hear things like that anymore.  You dont and that part of this team problem of being pamper. Pamper player dont win Super Bowl.  It time to raise the expectation of all player and people in this organization.  Let these player show the passion the fans have for them today.  Every lost should be personnel, and people should be held accountable for it.  Chales halley was not a good person to be around during a lost.  I consider this a good thing.  I just wish more players were like that.  I will never forget the effort Emiit gave playing with the dislocated Shoulder, you couldnt get him off the field for anything.  Emmitt didnt want to let the team down and he didnt.  It was at that moment, he became my favorite player of all time.  No one in this organization put it on the line more than he did.  I feel the same with Jason Witten playing through the broken nose and broken ribs.  You couldnt ask for more than those two players.  Then you have someone like the Moose, who career came to a early end sacraficing his body for his team and team mate.  That why I like Emmitt Smith so much, he acknowldge the man, when he reach the hightest moment in his Football career. when he acknowledge the Moose in his life.

  • Californy

    I was just reading an article, it was about Emmitt Smith, he was concern with all the hits he has taken in his career.  he has taken about 517 more hits than the secound RB of all time.  I have alwasy been supportive of these athlete making the money they are making.  These hits take years out of these athletes like.  I remember watching Emmitt as a kid, doing amazing things with the ball.  I wonder whether Emmit will be around for his kids time growing up, or even playing professional ball.  I think Emmitt biggest contract he had was somewhere like 13.4 million dollars.  That must of been alot in his day, but the amount of pain he inflicted on himself, in today terms is a bargain.  Many player get what Emmit make in just a signing bonus, and that for doing nothing just signing a paper.  There are may entertainer who make more than Emmitt just by lending their name to a product.  Emiitt is worry about his health in a future, and probably concern about his family wondering whether he will be around, or if his mind start doing thing like what happen to Seau.

    • cjwright

       @Californy Emmitt is a god.

  • califrony

    It really sound like you are a fan, I always like your honesty. You have shown the passion as a writer to be inferiated at the Cowboys and their result. I can be the same way without the kicking stuff, and the show boating of Dallas stickers. I have learned to be a quiet respectful fan, as a Cowboy fan we are magnet to the haters. They will show us our short coming every week when we lose a game, I enjoy the Cowboys win because of these hater are walking around with their tales between their legs. I sometime buy pizza at work and tell the hater we are celebrating the Cowboy victory, so they have this bad pill to swallow. It fun to see them get the pizza knowing what we are celebrating. I just smile inside. The coworkers who dont care one way or another are the one who harrass the hater for me, they are content to get a free meal out of it. This has work for me, I dont have to lower myself to their level.

  • http://www.facebook.com/directortom Tom Salagaj

    I’ve been a Cowboy fan since their inception in 1960. I read the newspaper article when it was announced that Don Meredith was drafted out of SMU. Being from Texas, who else could I root for? My best years and memories are, of course, from the Super Bowl years, the early 90′s to be exact. But lately, I am a hurting fan that sees no good future for my Cowboys. They are locked into a hopeless situation. It’s as if there are imaginary chains all over this franchise due mainly to one factor. Jerry Jones’s pride. He has always wanted to be the head coach and can only do this through puppet coaches. Currently, Jason Garrett fills that roll and not too successfully at present. This franchise that I have loved so long needs true football men making decisions. There are none presently on board. And until and unless this situation changes, I, along with thousands of other loyal fans will continue to suffer along with a middle of the pack team. Great talent, poor coaching, predictable offensive schemes, and a strength and conditioning regimen that is severly lacking. But I hope beyond hope that the owner’s pride will give way to intelligent thinking which should bring to Dallas, smart, football minds that can effectively deal with this franchise in winning ways. Until then…..sad days and weekends and no playoffs.

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