Your favorite Dallas Cowboys as Halloween Candy

(Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images)
(Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images) /
3 of 4
Dallas Cowboys
DeMarcus Lawrence, DE, Dallas Cowboys Mandatory Credit: Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports /

Dallas Cowboys Candy Group 2

Starburst – Edge Rushers

The Dallas defense hasn’t been good this season, however, of all the groupings on the team the edge rushers have been SOLID. Collectively, Starburst is a solid candy, however, individually they vary from very good to marginal at best.

For example, DeMarcus Lawrence continues to be an elite run stopper even if his pass-rushing ability isn’t all the way back yet. He stands out amongst the pack like how the yellow-colored Starburst stands out amongst the pack.

Aldon Smith in his return to the team has exceeded expectations and is… still not doing enough. (That’s not as much his fault as it is the rest of the defense’s fault.) The fruity punch of the red-colored Starburst feels good but always has you wanting more.

The rest of the group from Randy Gregory, Bradlee Anae, and Dorance Armstrong range from solid to marginal. I’ll let you fight over those grades.

Skittles – Sean Lee

Skittles, a candy we loved when we were younger but growing increasingly away from the older we get. I really couldn’t find a better comparison than Sean Lee.

A younger more explosive Sean Lee was a drive stopping beast. He could snuff plays in the backfield before they had a chance and his mobility in coverage far surpassed the person who’s currently filling his position. (We’ll get to that later)

Skittles were fun to eat because of their aesthetically pleasing colors and fruity tastes. Watching Sean Lee play when were younger helped us preserve some of our youthful exuberance. However, as all of us age, the luster has worn off. The taste of each skittle feels more vanilla and rather monotonous. Lee has dealt with his fair share of injuries in his old age; all this contributes to an all-around lack of athleticism even with his instincts being as good as they are.

Can he get you tackles? Sure! Can he be a game-changer? Likely not. Can skittles be satisfying? Sure. Are they what you REALLY desire? No chance.

Crunch Bar – Connor Williams

This might be the perfect one because Crunch is a Top 5 candy for me, but I like Connor Williams as a football player. I also apparently like Connor Williams more than the average Cowboys fan. However, recognizing where he is in his development and how starved for talent the rest of the offensive line is fans will likely tell you he isn’t bad weirdly compliment for his recent string of performances.

That feeling is very similar to how people describe eating a crunch bar. It isn’t people’s favorite candy, but it’s not bad enough for people to gripe about it. Eating a crunch bar is very tolerable much, in the same way, like how Connor Williams being a starting offensive guard is tolerable for fans.

I think it’s fair to say the McGovern over Williams crowd has died down a bit since the offseason.